Thursday, May 7, 2009

The Game in Revision

Well, I'm finally getting around to rewriting my book, The Game. I'm majorly revising it and changing it from limited third person to first. I need some input on it, so I figured I'd post it on here as I go along. Please, please tell me what you think, and what I need to work on. I really appreciate it!
Prologue

The Beginning

Reese


We began every summer with the ritual, and the summer I was twelve was no different. The first weekday with no school, my best friend Dan and I carried all of our jeans to my back yard and cut the legs off of them. We’d been doing this since we were old enough to use scissors. Our moms hated it, but they’d finally resigned themselves. At least it saved them money buying us shorts.

After we were done, we lay under the tree in my backyard, surrounded by mutilated jeans, thinking about the long summer stretching ahead of us. Days and days and days of freedom waiting to be filled.

I could feel Dan’s hand on the ground less than an inch from mine. I turned to look at him. He was freckled with the spots of sunshine shining through the leaves. He’d just gotten his summer buzz cut that morning, and his freshly spiky hair was attracting as many stray leaves as my long hair was. As I studied his face, I realized that he’d changed a lot this year. I’d always thought Dan was cute—even if he was my best friend—but now he was definitely growing into hotness. He turned to meet my eyes just as my gaze was lingering on his lips. I could feel myself blushing.

I’d been in love with Dan Space since the day we’d met when we were three, but I could never tell anyone. He was my best friend. He didn’t think of me that way.

He grinned suddenly and flipped around so he was standing on his head with his legs against the tree.

“What are we gonna do today, Reese?” He asked. “Hey, you’re pretty cute upside down.”

I wrinkled my nose at him. “What are we gonna do the whole summer, Danny-boy?”

“Tons of stuff, Teresa.”

“Reese, you dummy,” I corrected, shoving his legs away from the tree. He tumbled over and sat up, his eyes lit up with anticipation for the summer of games he was no doubt planning out.

We didn’t do the whole summer camp thing in our small town of Rolling Hills. I didn’t know of any summer camps within fifty miles. All the kids in town just kind of hung out all summer, but that was fine with us. Dan and I loved to make up games. We’d been doing it forever, and usually everyone wanted to play. We’d started out with regular games like Tag or Kick the Can, but we got bored with those after a summer or two. For the past few years, we’d made up a new game each summer. Since I hadn’t come up with any ideas for this year’s game, I was happy to see that Dan had.

“Well,” I said. “What are we gonna do today?”

“Finally you ask. I’ve only been waiting to tell you forever.”

I guess Dan and I weren’t your normal twelve-year-olds. We were best friends and we were a boy and a girl, for one thing. For another, we both loved to read. And we loved reading the same book at the same time so we could talk about it. Dan read a little faster than me, but he’d always wait for me to catch up at the end of every chapter. One of our favorite books ever had been The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton. We’d become fascinated by gangs—although the book didn’t make life in a gang look fun at all. When Dan told me what The Game was, I was surprised I hadn’t thought of it myself.

We spread the word to meet in Rolling Hills Park that afternoon to start that summer’s Game. By the time we got there, pretty much every other kid in town was already sitting in the middle of the soccer field. Their conversation hummed with excitement as they waited for Dan to take his place in the middle of the crowd. I hung off to the side. Dan handled the instructions for the games. He was much better at explaining things. Heck, he was much better at everything, if you asked me.

“We’re dividing the town at Poindexter Street,” Dan began. He usually got right to the point. “You guys who live on the west side will be in a gang called—well, you can name yourselves.”

“The comets!” Someone yelled.

“This isn’t basketball, dork,” I shook my head.

“The bunnies,” Someone from the east side snickered.

“The Sharks,” Dante Wilson’s voice silenced all the others.

I shrugged off a chill. One bad thing about this game would be having Dante on the other team. He was thirteen, but he was absolutely huge and as mean as could be. Dante wasn’t his real name—no one knew what his real name was. His dad had started calling him Dante when he was real little. Dan said that Dante meant Devil.

“All right, the Sharks,” Dan nodded. “And our gang on the east side will be the Blue Dragons.” The east side kids shouted their approval. I beamed—the name, at least, had been my idea.

Dan explained that there wasn’t really an ultimate goal in this game—no real winner and loser. We would just pretend like we were real gangs. We would try to sneak onto the other gang’s “turf” and do stuff to annoy or sabotage them. If they caught us, they could do whatever they wanted to us.

“I’m gonna catch Reese,” Jack Evans said, “and make her my servant for the day.”

I rolled my eyes and pretended to gag. Jack was a runt of a thirteen-year-old and had been in love with me for the past few years. I thought he was disgusting. He’d been kicked out of a bunch of our games for annoying me. As if I could ever love anyone but Dan.

“What about stores and stuff?” Dan’s big brother Derek asked.

“Any part of town is no man’s land, and if you’re with your parents, you’re on time out. Any other questions?” Dan glanced around at the ten or so raised hands. “Too bad. The game starts at two o’clock!”

Everyone jumped up, all talking at the same time, and took off for their own side of town. I heard jeers and threats being tossed back and forth between gangs as they separated.

A tingle of apprehension ran down my spine. How easily the town was split in two. But then Dan grinned and winked at me, and I forgot all about my uneasiness. This was going to be the best game yet.

I resisted the urge to giggle as a leaf tickled my nose. Don’t think I’m too weird or anything, I didn’t usually hang out in the middle of the shrubs in my back yard. I’d just jumped into them to hide when I spotted Jack “sneaking” down the street. Now I waited patiently as his slow, wary steps got closer and closer. I was kind of curious to see what he would do if I didn’t stop him. Oh well. I’m sure it would’ve been something stupid.

I launched out of my hiding place with a yell, and Jack jumped three feet in the air, squealing like a girl. I almost couldn’t tackle him I was laughing so hard. Almost.

I had about twenty pounds on him (I’m tellin’ ya, he was a runt!) so it was easy to maneuver my way to sitting on his chest with my knees pinning his arms.

“Hey, Reese,” he gasped. “Fancy meeting you here.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. Jack might be an okay guy if he didn’t insist on driving me crazy with this stupid, mushy love stuff.

“Jack Evans, what are you doing here?”

“I figured you weren’t gonna come to my house so I can to yours.”

I rolled my eyes. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

He struggled to sit up a little and take a deep breath, but gave up and plopped back down. “Because I love you. As pleasant as this is, could you possibly give me a little more room to breathe? Maybe let me up?”

“Not until I figure out what I’m gonna do with you,” I said. He did, however, look pretty close to suffocating. I shifted my weight, and he took a deep breath with a appreciative sigh.

“I see you caught him.” Dan came around the side of my house. “I saw him coming, and I was gonna grab him for you, but I figured you could handle him.”

“Apparently you were right,” Jack said.

“So what are you gonna do with him?”

I shrugged. “I’m still thinking about it.”

“How about a bargain?” Jack offered.

“I don’t think so, Evans. You’re going down,” I said.

“Now, wait a minute,” Dan held up his hand. “What do you have that we would want?”

“Oh,” Jack said, casually. “Just some information to help you pull of the biggest heist of the entire Game.”

Dan and I exchanged looks. I knew he was wondering the same thing I was: Was Jack trustworthy?

Jack must have read our looks, because he looked up at me innocently and asked, “Would I lie to you, Reese? The love of my life?”

“Not unless you wanted your head kicked in,” Dan laughed.

“All right,” I said. “What have you got?”

“Not so fast,” Jack said. “We have to cut a deal first. And I can’t cut a deal in this position.” He glanced down at his pinned arms.

I bit my lip and looked at Dan. I was leaving the rest of this whole thing up to him. He was the brains of the operation anyway.

“Promise you won’t run?” Dan asked.

“You’d just catch me anyway,” Jack pointed out. “But okay. I promise.”

“This had better be good,” I said, standing up.

Jack sat up and took a deep breath before grinning at us.

“How about,” he started. “I tell you what I know and I'm immune the rest of the game. I can come onto your turf without getting caught.”

“How about,” Dan countered. “You tell us what you know, and Reese won't beat you to a pulp or humiliate you or whatever it was she was planning on doing this time. But next time she catches you she will.”

“Is that your best offer?” Jack frowned.

Dan looked at me for confirmation before answering, “Yep.”

“Okay.” Jack sighed. “We have a deal, but only because your silent partner is so cute.”

“I'm not a silent partner, and I'm not cute, and if what you tell us isn't true, I will find you and make you regret the day you crossed us. Got it?” I grabbed the front of his t-shirt and hauled him to his feet. This kid was annoying! If Dan hadn’t come along, I would have beaten him up and had it over with.

“Okay, okay,” Jack said. “I'm sorry. Oh, and one more thing, you can't tell anyone where you got this information because I will get killed.”

“Maybe I'd better give you a couple of black eyes so you won't go back looking suspicious,” I offered hopefully.

“That’s okay,” Jack said. “But thanks for the offer.”

“Okay, start talking, Evans,” Dan said. I guess Jack was starting to get on his nerves too.

“I happen to know,” Jack said slowly. “That Dante left half an hour ago to go spend the afternoon at his aunt's house. They're staying for dinner so they won’t be back until tonight. Guess who's chained in the back yard where the gate is always unlocked.”

I could believe it! I looked at Dan incredulously. This was it. It would be the biggest heist of the game. Who would dare sneak into Dante's back yard? To let his dog out, no less. Dante's Doberman Pinscher, Thrasher, was an okay dog. Dante had tried to make him mean, but thankfully he wasn’t a very good dog trainer. Thrasher had gotten out of the gate a bunch of times, and even nice Doberman Pinschers can be scary. So many people complained that the police told Dante he would be fined $100 if Thrasher got out again.

Dante would be so mad.

“Get your butt outta here, Jack,” Dan said. “And you'd better not tell Dante who let his dog out.”

“Sure thing.” Jack saluted and winked at me before running off. “I value my life too much!”

Idiot.

I nervously drummed my fingers on the arm of my rocking chair. I was sitting on the front porch waiting for Dan. We’d decided it would be easier if he’d gone by himself. I wouldn’t have minded going too, sneaking through the neighborhood, being stealthy; but I wanted Dan to get all the glory for this one. It was going to be awesome. Dante would be amazingly steamed. The Sharks would never top this.

I leaned forward to search the street for any sign of Dan. He’d left fifteen minutes ago; surely he’d be back soon. A thread of worry tickled the back of my mind. Jack hadn’t lied, had he? Oh, he would be so dead. Should I go see if Dan needed help? I eyed my bike in the driveway. I could be at Dante’s house in five minutes—three if I rode really fast. But if I ruined the whole thing, Dan would be ticked.

I looked at my watch again. Twenty minutes. I got up and ambled towards my bike.

“Reese,” my mom leaned out the front door. “Did you clean your room this morning?”

“No, I’ll do it later,” I said, picking up my bike.

“You’ll do it now, Teresa McCarly. I’ve been telling you to clean it for two days. You aren’t going anywhere until it’s clean!”

Now that I couldn’t go, I knew I needed to. I flew upstairs and cleaned my room in record time.

“Is it really clean?” Mom yelled when she heard the front door slam.

“Yes!” I yelled back and jumped on my bike before she could stop me again.

Dan had been gone more than half-an-hour now, and I was positively wired with worry. Someone must have caught him. What was I going to do? My legs pumped fast and steady through the neighborhood streets until I got to Dante’s street. For some reason I suddenly found it harder to pedal.

The whole street was quiet—too quiet. It was hard to breathe, and I felt hot tears burning my eyes. I wasn’t even sure why. Yet. I could see someone standing in Dante’s yard all the way at the end of the street. It looked like Dan, but what the heck was he doing just standing there?

Something wasn’t right. I was more and more confused the closer I got. Dan’s feet weren’t touching the ground, and his head was hanging forward as if he were asleep. I stopped in the middle of the street, trying to understand what I saw.

Dan hung from a pole by his T-shirt. Blood was everywhere. A sign hung around his neck. “Loser.”

I tried to scream, but no sound came.